Clouds are clearing...ish. (With a chance of rain.) While some things are amazing, other things are getting shitty. (Like my conscience.) Sucks when you have a good thing and you can't keep it to yourself. (I wanna keep you to myself.)
I'm curled up in the rec room writing this, watching the sun come up through the windows. It's actually calming at this time, you can actually hear yourself think. You can also hear someone getting a little louder than they wanted. (Damn that voice sounds familiar.) Anyway, insomnia has given me the time to reflect on some things, which, when you're in a place such as this, may or may not be a good thing.
I guess it comes down this: I have no idea what I'm doing.
I miss my boyfriend. I don't even know if you can call him that, due to the fact that I haven't seen him in about three days. Bottom line? Davey, we need to talk. I don't care how, I don't care when, just find me.
I don't know how many more sleepless nights and low budget zombie movies I can take before I snap.
Am I single? Am I taken? I don't even know anymore. You just can't lay claim on people and say "When you're back on the market, call me and we'll fuck." I don't work this way. I don't know when this turned into a free-for-all on Jade, but I'd kinda like a say in it before I go to the highest bidder.
You know things are bad when you're to the point where you want to ask them to up your dosage just so you'll OD and pass out for a while and not have to deal with it.
I've discovered something in my few weeks here, and I'd like to share it with all of you:
You can't find the answers while you're on your back. Peace can't be found in a few minutes of forbidden passion. Counting the cracks in the ceiling won't save you.
I can't save me. Can you?
PS: If anyone could get me a cig, I'd be eternally grateful.
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jadexcore_frsre's journal
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